I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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