my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
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