Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
