2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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