He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
