I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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