I wanna bring you to show and tell
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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