I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
