Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
