We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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