You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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