We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
