I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
