dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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