We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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