we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
