he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
