Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
