erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
They have beer where we have blood.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
