pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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