Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
