well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Randomize