I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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