he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
