Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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