So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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