The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
