Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
