and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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