So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
