Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
