I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.