happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.