Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
