Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
