just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
