i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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