ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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