you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
