Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
