He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
