i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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