his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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