is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
