we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
