i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Found the puke drawer
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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