i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Where is the hickey?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
