Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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