absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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