Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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