real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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