Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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