This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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