Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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