1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize