She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
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