the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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