sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
