Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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