he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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