just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
