Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I wish life had little blips of pornography
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
