your thong is hanging out like whoa
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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