did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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