Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
