too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
