I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
