Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
We need to rekindle our bromance
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
