One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
